One of my friends has started drinking… What do I do?
One of my friends has started drinking and smoking. I think he gets it from his sister and her boyfriend. I don’t know if I should tell his parents or just leave him alone.
It’s a tough choice, one you may have to make often in life: whether to stand by and watch or risk the pain of getting involved. But remember, the choice to stand by and watch is not without its own risk of pain. The pain of losing your friend to addictions like smoking and drinking while knowing you could possibly have done something to help may be the worse of the two.
The Bible has a lot to say about commitment to our friends, even when it’s tough. Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Sometimes our love for friends means we have to do things that hurt them today but may help them in the long run. In John 15:13, Jesus told His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Bottom line, it’s important for you to tell your friend’s parents what is going on. Or if you don’t feel comfortable talking with them directly, talk to your parents and let them know what is going on. Find out if they would be willing to have the conversation with your friend’s parents.
But even before you do that, it’s important for you to confront your friend, lovingly, about what is going on. If he doesn’t respond, confront him again with another Christian friend, parent or youth leader. Remember that even when you do what’s right, your friend may continue to make poor decisions. Continue to do all you can to love him, but make sure you don’t get pulled down in the process. Galatians 6:1 sums it up well: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”