College degree worth extra $23,000 a year

October 26th, 2006

By Stephen Ohlemacher ASSOCIATED PRESS 

5:14 p.m. October 25, 2006

WASHINGTON – How much is a bachelor’s degree worth? About $23,000 a year, the government said in a report released Thursday. 

That is the average gap in earnings between adults with bachelor’s degrees and those with high school diplomas, according to data from the Census Bureau. College graduates made an average of $51,554 in 2004, the most recent figures available, compared with $28,645 for adults with a high school diploma. High school dropouts earned an average of $19,169 and those with advanced college degrees made an average of $78,093. “There appear to be strong incentives to get a college degree, given the gaps that we observe,” said Lisa Barrow, senior economist at the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. The income gap narrowed slightly from five years earlier, when college graduates made nearly twice as much as high school graduates. But the differences remained significant for men and women of every racial and ethnic group. 

Eighty-five percent of people 25 and older had at least a high school diploma or the equivalent in 2005, according to the Census Bureau’s 2005 Current Population Survey. In 2000, 80 percent had a high school diploma or the equivalent, and a little more than half did in 1970. Twenty-eight percent had at least a bachelor’s degree, compared with about 24 percent in 2000 and 11 percent in 1970. “I think we’ve done a very good job of getting individuals into college,” said Cecilia Rouse, professor of economics and public affairs at Princeton University. “But we don’t fully understand why we don’t do as good a job of graduating them.” Chester Finn, president of the Thomas B. Fordham Institute in Washington, said too many high school graduates are unprepared to succeed in college. 

“If you don’t emerge from high school having done at least the equivalent of advanced algebra, you are not going to be ready for college math,” Finn said. “You can make similar points about English.” Among the other findings in the report:  Minnesota, Utah, Montana, New Hampshire and Alaska had the highest proportions of adults with at least a high school diploma – all at about 92 percent.  Texas had the lowest proportion of adults with at least a high school diploma, about 78 percent. It was followed closely by Kentucky and Mississippi. 

 Connecticut was the state with the highest proportion of adults with at least a bachelor’s degree, nearly 37 percent. It was followed closely by Massachusetts, Maryland and New Jersey.   Nearly 47 percent of adults in Washington, D.C., had at least a bachelor’s degree.  

 

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Christian vs. Secular Music

June 4th, 2006

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Here are some great thoughts on bands and music…

ORIGINAL QUESTION:

[the band] “Creed” have written stuff which I think are mostly bible abiding, but then I’ve read about Scott S. doing something close to meditation. If he does meditate, then the Creed thing could/must have a dark agenda because it is very ‘Christ[ian] sounding’ with all the losing pride and loving selflessly talk. I just cant place them. Please help me.

ORIGINAL REPLY:

This debate has been going on for many years now and I don’t really understand it. It’s as if Christians can only feel justified in listening to music so long as the band claims to be Christian. Look, there are “Christian” bands with songs whose lyrics don’t offer anything “Christian” at all (i.e. later Amy Grant or the way Third Day has “sanctified” the Beatle’s song Come Together), and “secular” bands with great “Christian” lyrics (i.e. Extreme’s CD 3 Sides To Every Story or . . . Creed!). 

A song’s value (or truthfulness) is not dependent upon the performers whether they are a “Christian band” or not. Just read the lyrics and use . . . GASP! . . . wisdom! Don’t rely on a label to determine your judgment on any piece of music or any message. It doesn’t matter whether or not the members of Creed claim to be Christians or not as far as their songs go. If the music is “Christian” it will be evident from the message - if not, then there’s your answer! 

[———-DEBATE BEGINS WITH THIRD PARTY———]

True, it also counts on the fact of what you are going to suport with your money… are you going to support that for which is against God?. I like Creed, .but I am not going to spend my money on a CD that is supports beer and [un?]married sex. 

Why is music given this special category where all of a sudden monetary “support” is the issue? I just don’t see how you plan to live consistently with this ethic.

Are you also going to screen the beliefs of your Landlord? Plumber? Waiter? Fireman? Police Officer? Janitor? Are you going to stop going to ALL movies out of Hollywood? Will you never again pay to go into any museum that features art by non-believers? Will you pay to go to a college that has any non-believing staff? Are you using a computer that was made by a Christian company with Christian parts? Is the phone/cable line that connects you to the internet a “Christian” line? Are you going to do a background check on every artist you “support” before buying their music? Are you going to follow the money trail past the “Christian” label to make sure they are not in turn funded by secular money? 

The problem here is that you’re placing music in the same category as services provided by plumbers, cops, etc., as well as into the general category of entertainment. For myself, this doesn’t work because music is one of the main ways I choose to worship, and worship is just about all I ever use it for. When I listen to a song, I at least attempt to sing along and try to connect emotionally with the singer and with God…so you’re darn right I’m going to hold the music I listen to to a much higher standard than I do the rest of the “services” I receive. I’ve never advocated that anyone else adopt this policy towards music or anything else…I’ve just stated that this is the direction God has lead me in dealing with the stuff I listen to / worship with. If this is somehow inconsistent, then so be it - sometimes God’s direction doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but that doesn’t make it less genuine. 

Excellent response regarding the relationship of music and worship in your life. But it does not solve the question of whether or not the band determines the morality of the song or if only the words do. Let me ask you this: Do you think you HAVE to know a band’s view before you can make a moral judgment of their song - or do you think the message just gets ruined for you if you find out that the band is non- (or) anti-Christian? 

To answer your question, I’d have to say a little bit of both. Let me say that I prefer to know, but if I don’t, then I go on what my “gut” tells me, which is often influenced by the Holy Spirit, until I find out something different.

For me, the music I listen to affects me greatly. I realize that some people at least claim to be unaffected by the music they listen to, and while I don’t understand how they cannot be, I can’t find fault in their opinions. So, for me, I stay away from stuff that’s from non-Christian or “questionable” sources. My preference, not law. :)  

I do also believe that there’s some stuff out there that’s just plain evil and I do have a big problem when people, Christian or not, accept it as anything short of just plain evil. I won’t mention any names lest I open another can of worms… True…also the Byrds song so popular in the 60’s , most of which was taken directly from Ecclesiastes. Darned if I can remember the title, but hey…it was before my time. 

Regarding this topic, let me just toss out a scripture that comes to mind: 

Matthew 7: 15 “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

 The question I have is that if we’re able to discern that someone is definitely a false prophet, then should we EVER give heed to their messages, even when they are sprinkled with truth? My answer is no. A little leven levens the whole lump. Actually, this proves my point. Why do we trust the Bible when parts of it contain evil? Because the SOURCE (i/e: GOD) is true! There are some elements of the Koran that are true, but we don’t trust it because its SOURCE is a FALSE PROPHET of a FALSE GOD.

All I’m saying here is that if someone doesn’t even claim to be born again, then it’s a pretty safe bet they’re not. So, we should beware of the things they tell us, even if they sound “good” or “Christian,” even. The same goes for musicians in their songs, and anyone else for that matter. 

So, my point? To some it makes a BIG difference, to others it doesn’t…for me, it does matter. 

I think you are on the right train of thought but misunderstood my point. I am not saying that it does not matter what you listen to, in fact music also affects me greatly. My point is that whether or not a band claims to be Christian has nothing to do with the actual content of their songs. Recognizing false prophets has to do with their message, not their beliefs. So the verse you quoted proves my point, thanks! 

Judge the music you listen to by what it IS and not by its source - the message does not become sanctified just because it’s from a “Christian” band, nor does it become evil because it’s from a “secular” band. Words mean things, and their meaning does not magically change from good to bad or bad to good because of their source. That goes for all art/literature/etc. A picture is not acceptable because the photographer was a Christian. Morality is not determined by the orientation of the actor. A simple perusal of your local “Christian” bookstore should convince you that Christian labels don’t equate to Christian content! 

So when it comes to judging the acceptability of Creed’s tunes it doesn’t matter what they believe, but what they write. 

Not really…I think the warning Jesus was giving there was that a false prophet can indeed deliver a GREAT message, but still be a worker of evil. I may be reading it wrong, but to me the word fruit here has meant the person’s actions, and/or the end result of their ministry (or lack thereof) - not necessarily a good message. 

 I think you really have to consider both aspects when “judging” the music. I can think of two different songs that counter this point. One is “King of Babylon” from [Saviour Machine’s] Legend 3:1, which depicts the Antichrist praying to Lucifer and refers to him as “lord, my god.” Not exactly a good message if you don’t realize who the artist is, where he’s coming from, and the overall point he’s trying to make with the album. The second is “Samaritan” by Candlemass - beautiful song if I remember the one time I heard it correctly, but not exactly a Christian band. Again, look at who the artist is, where he’s coming from, and the point he was trying to make with the whole album. The point I’m trying to make is that I think we have to try and discern the motives behind the music. Is this a false prophet singing a “Christian” song in order to make the rest of his false message appear more convincing? Or is this a Christian who is trying to expose evil for what it is by portraying it from its own point of view? 

 We have to use and pray for discernment with whatever we allow into our lives - music, books, art, TV, people, whatever - to make sure we don’t fall prey to the enemy, I have to agree there. 

Anyway, I guess the overall point is that there’s no substituting guideline that anyone can write that will be as sure as a nudge from the Holy Spirit saying you should/shouldn’t really be listening to such and such a band/song/whatever…so the best course of action is to stay in tune with Him… 

You are right about the test for a false prophet - but that’s not what we’re discussing. If fruit is the test for a false prophet then it still does not validate or invalidate their message. I think that is why we cannot judge a person by their message, nor a message by its person. A false prophet could utter truth, as you said, so the way we discern prophets is by their fruit (it is also their message actually, Dt. 13&17 but anyway . . .). If this is true then discernment of the message must not be able to be based on who spoke it! The very fact that the message alone isn’t enough tells me that we cannot use it alone to judge a person (unless it is obviously evil). Therefore, we also cannot judge a message by the person - for according to this test an evil person can utter truth! Isn’t that MY point??? :)  

As to your examples, I would say that the message of some of SM songs are indeed quite evil - just as the content of some of the Bible is “evil.” One cannot make true statements about evil without writing truly evil things! Accurately recording and evil act requires an “evil” message, but they ARE true. 

Intent is not the issue, but rather how you will respond to the message. For example, when I listen to SM sing about antichrist I can either choose to embrace the evil they sing about or hate it even more - but the message’s goodness/truthfulness is STILL not dependant on the band’s motive. Now if there was a song just bashing Christ, using cuss words, etc. I would argue that there’s just no good response to that song except to turn it off! But that would not mean that a Christian band could sing the same song and suddenly it would be OK. Once again, it’s the message, not the band. 

You make a convincing argument regarding motive, but I think that in addition to my above statements there is a sense of self-defeat in your statements. If I cannot judge a message in and of itself then how can I judge another message (of the band’s intent)? If I can’t discern a true or false message without knowing intent how could I discern a true or false statement of intent? The band could give me another message, i.e. their statement of faith. But then I’d have to know their intent for writing that . . . it would never end. Meaning must be found in the text, not the intent of the author. If this were not the case then we could never communicate for we would always be pushing back one step further asking the author what he meant by their message, and by their answer, and by their answer to that answer . . . it would never end. Does that make sense?

I don’t need to ask if Marilyn Manson is a Christian in order to discern the evil in their music, and I don’t need to know Steven Curtis Chapman’s beliefs to know his messages are good. If a message is ambiguous - well, then it’s ambiguous and you are free to assign whatever referent you want [see referent / meaning distinction below]. 

Let me give you a scenario and tell me how you would answer. Queen has the song “We are the Champions.” OK - the song says nothing about homosexuality yet that is what it’s about - gay pride. What if Third Day covered that song? Would that make the song “about” Christian victory? If you say “no,” then I am right because the (second) band’s intent did not change the meaning of the song. If you say “yes,” then I have to ask - what if Queen read the passage in Scripture where David “loved” Jonathan? Would the Bible then mean David was gay? If you say “yes,” then I rest my case! If you say “no,” then you’re being inconsistent, because the intent behind the words changed. Meaning is found in the text, not the author, not the reader. 

All right. I have to agree here that one can get carried away with this, and there’s no real way of even knowing a lot of people’s intent. In those situations, I pretty much have to “follow my nose.” I believe God has given me the gift of discernment from time to time (when it’s needed), and over the years I’ve learned to give heed to those “funny feelings” I sometimes get about people, bands, etc., because they’ve never been wrong. I digress. The point I’m trying to make is what I said earlier: If you KNOW someone or some band is false, then I don’t think it’s a good idea to give heed to any of their messages, regardless of whether they contain truth or not. Does God work thru false prophets who proclaim some amount of truth? Absolutely…I knew a kid who came to Christ because of the message of a false prophet…but a few months later, God called this kid completely out of fellowship with the guy after He was able to make him realize the guy was messed up. No, it’s not really inconsistant. Although, I have traditionally had difficulty with Christian musicians who “sanctify” a secular or outright anti-Christian song or tune, but that’s a WHOLE other can of worms I’d rather keep closed right now. Anyway, why is the “david and johnathan” quote scenario and my response (which is “yes - sort of” to the first in light of the above paragraph, and “no” to the second, BTW) not inconsistant? Because of the motive of the speaker! If Queen were to quote that scripture in order to infer that david and johnathan were gay, then they are twisting the scripture to mean something that was never intended by the author/speaker of the scripture! Remember, the devil quoted scripture when trying to get Christ to sin - does that make the scripture itself evil? Of course not! But was the devil’s over-all message evil, despite scriptural content? Absolutely. 

I also think we’re probably a little closer than it might seem in our views. My main concern is that we must not get the idea that a message is true or false or good or bad because of who said it. Meaning determines these things, and meaning is contained in the words - not the speaker. If Queen says, “David loved Johnathan,” it is every bit as true as if Jesus said it - because it MEANS the same thing. 

I think a helpful distinction that we have not brought up yet is this: there is a difference between meaning (which is objective and singular) and referent (which can change). This is a Biblical distinction as I will demonstrate below. 

When Matthew quotes Isaiah regarding the virgin birth he is changing the referent but not the meaning of the words. Isaiah was referring to a son of the king being born to a virgin in the king’s lifetime.  Matthew is referring to Christ. In fact, Matthew adds the phrase “…and she (Mary) remained a virgin,” in order to show that Messiah’s was a special birth. The words MEANT the same thing but they REFERRED to two different events - two different people. But the meaning did not change. “Virgin” still means “virgin” etc. 

OK so what the heck does all this philosophy of language have to do with our conversation? I think it is this: If I am driving down the road and “We are the Champions” comes on, am I free to sing along if I am referring to Christian vicory? I think so, because the words have the same meaning either way. Any specific referent MAY only be known by the author (and we might never find out who the author is!). So if I use the words “we are the champions,” and I am not referring to gay pride, then it’s OK. If it’s not, then we become trapped - every time a non-Christian uses any sentence for evil we could not use those words anymore! Whether the words are sung or spoken is irrelevent.

Now it may be the case that I cannot get past what I know the song refers to and psychologically I won’t make the jump in referents - but that doesn’t make the message itself objectively wrong - it only makes one person’s referent wrong and me unable to ignore it. 

What think ye? 

Wow! Very good! I think we’re there, actually…I understand where you’re coming from, and I think I can see my personal view in light of yours. I’d be the one who would turn off “Champions” because I’d know it was intended to be about gay pride and wouldn’t be able to get by it. By the same token, I’d shut off the afore-mentioned “Samaritan” because I know Candlemass doesn’t exactly seek to further the kingdom of God, even though the story told is a perfectly good one. 

Phew! That was rough but fun, thanks for the lively discussion!

   

 

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Want victory over your bad temper?

April 18th, 2006

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I have a really bad temper, and I know that God doesn’t like it. What can I do to keep my anger under control?

You’re on the right track. Recognizing and admitting your weakness is a big step in learning to overcome it. Anger is not necessarily an easy struggle, but its a common one that’s probably why the Bible mentions it quite a few times. Ephesians 4:26 and Psalm 4:4 tell us In your anger, do not sin. That’s encouraging because God recognizes that anger is a human emotion were all gonna have. Its what we do with our anger that He wants us to watch out for. Here are some tips that might help you deal with your temper.

·         Ask where your anger is coming from. What is it that makes you mad? Often, anger has deeper causes. Try to tackle anger at its root cause maybe with the help of a parent or youth pastor. 

·         Identify your trigger points. When do you most often get mad: at school, during a game, when you hang with certain friends? Recognizing situations that spark your fuse can make it easier to avoid or work through them.

·         Use your Bible tools. Memorize Scripture verses on anger. Concentrate on them and say them to yourself when you feel your temperature rising. Besides the ones above, good examples include Ephesians 4:31, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1 and Proverbs 29:8.

·         Count to 10. You’ve probably heard it before, but get in the habit of pausing before firing a quick comeback or throwing a fist. The break lets you gather your thoughts and can be a good time to quote one of your useful verses.

·         Create constructive alternatives. Physical activities like running or even throwing a ball against a wall can be helpful ways to let off steam. Its also a good idea to talk out your mad feelings with a trusted friend.

·         Handle it head on. Just ignoring or burying your anger deep inside isn’t healthy; eventually it will come out as bitterness, depression or violence. That’s why Ephesians 4:26-27 says, Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

·         Don’t get mad at being mad. Changing your attitudes and behaviors will be a learning process. When you come up short, seek forgiveness from God and the person you’ve wronged. Then keep going, learn from your mistakes and let God change you.

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One of my friends has started drinking… What do I do?

April 18th, 2006

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One of my friends has started drinking and smoking. I think he gets it from his sister and her boyfriend. I don’t know if I should tell his parents or just leave him alone.

It’s a tough choice, one you may have to make often in life: whether to stand by and watch or risk the pain of getting involved. But remember, the choice to stand by and watch is not without its own risk of pain. The pain of losing your friend to addictions like smoking and drinking while knowing you could possibly have done something to help may be the worse of the two.

The Bible has a lot to say about commitment to our friends, even when it’s tough. Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Sometimes our love for friends means we have to do things that hurt them today but may help them in the long run. In John 15:13, Jesus told His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Bottom line, it’s important for you to tell your friend’s parents what is going on. Or if you don’t feel comfortable talking with them directly, talk to your parents and let them know what is going on. Find out if they would be willing to have the conversation with your friend’s parents.

But even before you do that, it’s important for you to confront your friend, lovingly, about what is going on. If he doesn’t respond, confront him again with another Christian friend, parent or youth leader. Remember that even when you do what’s right, your friend may continue to make poor decisions. Continue to do all you can to love him, but make sure you don’t get pulled down in the process. Galatians 6:1 sums it up well: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”

 

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Being a solo Christ-follower in your family

April 18th, 2006

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I’m a new Christian, and my family isn’t Christian. It’s so hard sometimes to just be around them. Could you provide me with some Bible verses and other words of wisdom about perseverance?

It’s awesome that you’ve given your life to Christ! And you’re right — it’s hard when your family doesn’t share your faith and spiritual viewpoint. You may find comfort in the fact that even Jesus’ earthly family didn’t always see eye-to-eye with Him spiritually. His own brothers didn’t believe in Him, at least not for quite a while. (Check out John 7:5 and Mark 3:31-34.) But that didn’t keep Jesus from loving others, including His earthly family. Even though it can be hard to be around your closest relatives, the cool thing is that God Himself placed you right where you are in your specific family — on purpose. And He knew exactly what He was doing. He wants you there living everyday life, maybe even to help your family come to know Jesus as their Savior. Yeah, that could take some time, so perseverance is definitely the key.

Here are those verses you asked for: Romans 5:1-5, Hebrews 12:1-3, James 1:2-4, 12, Isaiah 40:28-31, Psalm 73:23-26

There’s also a great book you should pick up called How to Live With Your Parents Without Losing Your Mind by Ken Davis. Besides these resources, getting involved in a good church is important. The friends you make there can be a great encouragement and support. So check out the book, read the verses and hang in there! Rely on God’s love to show through you, even when you don’t feel like showing any love.

 


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Faith After High School?

March 7th, 2006

The college years can be a war zone for believers. According to a range of studies, somewhere between 69 and 94 percent of Christian students leave the church after entering college. In one UCLA study, 52 percent of college freshman reported frequent attendance at religious services; just 29 percent could say the same by their junior year. In one startling example, students from the same youth group were surveyed a few years after graduation. Of those who responded, 100 percent had consumed alcohol, almost 70 percent had engaged in a sexual encounter, and 20 percent acknowledged having at least 40 sexual encounters in the previous year. Why do so many Christian students — including some who seemed to be rock solid followers of Jesus in high school — stumble when they move away from home and youth group? Check out the Top 10 College Temptations for ideas on how to stand strong for Jesus long after you leave your youth group behind.

BY TAMIE VERVOORN

THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE, college, might be the best yet: learning new things, making new friends, finding new freedom. But college—whether you go to a Christian or secular school—also guarantees something else: new temptations. When Jesus went into the wilderness for forty days of fasting, He knew He would encounter temptation from the Enemy there. That’s why He went armed with the Word of God firmly fixed in His heart. You can read about the battle in Matthew 4:1-11 and Luke 4:1-13. * College isn’t exactly a wilderness, but you’ll need to arm yourself in the same way if you’re going to be ready to defeat the Enemy’s attempts to derail your walk with God. Following are ten temptations that might try to trip you up at college and strategies you can use to fight them. If you meditate on and memorize Scripture now, you’ll have the ammunition you need to resist the devil (and your own flesh) a couple months and years down the road. TEMPTATiON #1 LETTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD SLIDE During your first months at college, you might feel overwhelmed with your classes (this ain’t high school, baby!) and all the activities going on around you. You’ll have sporting events to attend, roommates to get to know, midnight coffee (or ice cream or taco) runs. It will be easy for God to get squeezed out of your schedule. STRATEGY: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT College is definitely not the time to drift away from Jesus. The key is to set aside time each day to talk to God and dig into His Word. Stick to that appointment! Think of it as your most important class of the day—and pay attention to what your Teacher has to say. THE WORD: MATTHEW 22:37-38 “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.’

” TEMPTATiON #2 DOUBTING YOUR FAITH Too many Christian teens ride into college on their parents’ faith. When challenged by intelligent and reasonable sounding but unbelieving professors and students, they’re more likely to shrug off their faith because they don’t own it, or to harbor doubts without really looking for the answers. STRATEGY: ASK THE RIGHT PEOPLE THE HARD QUESTIONS There are answers to the tough questions about what we believe. Dig in for yourself. Get to know the specifics of your faith. Ask wise and trusted Christians about your doubts and questions before you go to college, if possible. With their help, you will be able to boldly defend your faith when others challenge you. When you get to college, be sure to hook up with a solid local church where you can find community, biblical teaching, wise counsel and accountability. THE WORD: 1 PETER 3:14-15 “But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.’ ”

TEMPTATiON #3 BUYING INTO THE “NO MORAL ABSOLUTES” LIE If you go to a secular university you will be told, in one way or another, that most worldviews, philosophies and religions are equally good. Nothing can be known for sure. “If it works for you, go for it!” Your profs and peers might try to make you feel silly about believing that Jesus is the only way to God. You might want to fudge your beliefs just a little to be accepted. STRATEGY: COMMIT TO REPRESENTING CHRIST TO YOUR CAMPUS Don’t be surprised that non-Christians don’t agree with you. Turn it around, and make your campus your mission field! You’ll be amazed at how your own faith grows when you’re loving and reaching out to others. THE WORD: JOHN 14:6 (CHECK OUT ACTS 4:12 AND THE REST OF ACTS, TOO) “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ ”

TEMPTATiON #4 GIVING IN TO PROMISCUITY Dorm life, even on a Christian college campus, can mean three things: freedom, loneliness and a lot more time with the opposite sex. That’s not all bad, but it opens the door to sexual temptations. Add to that pressure from friends and the media to “get a boy/girl friend” or “get more physical,” and this is a serious danger zone. STRATEGY: MAKE A PLAN NOW Decide before you get to college how you will handle sexual temptation. What are your limits? How committed are you to sexual purity? Remember that it’s God’s will for you not only to remain physically pure, but to guard your heart as well. Learn how to develop godly friendships with both guys and girls and have fun hanging out in groups. Limit the amount of time you’re alone in one-on-one situations—even if you feel strongly about the other person. THE WORD: 1 CORINTHIANS 6:18-20 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

TEMPTATiON #5 PAR-TAY! It’s Friday night, and a little voice says, “College is your last chance (or maybe your first) to really party before entering the ‘real world.’ And besides, who’s gonna get hurt if you drink a few beers, do a few drugs, look at pornography, or sleep with someone here and there? Just have fun!” STRATEGY: PLAN FAITHFUL FUN Find friends who want to have fun, but who want to honor God. Commit to accountability with them. Be an initiator! Plan a party of your own that involves good food, good music, good movies, etc., but leaves out the drugs, alcohol and sexual immorality. THE WORD: 1 CORINTHIANS 15:33 (SEE ALSO GENESIS 39) “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ ”

TEMPTATiON #6 FIT IN! Tolerance gets talked about a lot on college campuses these days, but it’s amazing how out of it you can still feel if you stand out from everyone else. You might think about doing wrong or worthless things you’re not even interested in just to feel like part of a group. STRATEGY: DON’T FIT IN! By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can choose to be your own person. Find your sense of significance and self-worth in Christ. Again, surrounding yourself with solid Chris-tian friends is a good way to fight the desire to fit in with the wrong crowd. THE WORD: PROVERBS 29:25 “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trust in the Lord is kept safe.”

 TEMPTATiON #7 BODY AND FOOD OBSESSIONS It’s a huge issue for many women and some men. It’s natural to compare yourself with others and feel like you don’t measure up—or to let stress mess with your eating habits. Some turn to the school cafeteria for comfort, while others turn away from it completely in an attempt to control something in their lives. These patterns are unhealthy and can lead to more serious eating disorders and to dangerous weight gain or loss. STRATEGY: CAPTURE YOUR THOUGHTS Identify the lie that’s making you think your body or the food you eat defines you. Think of that thought as a criminal running around in your mind. Arrest it, put the handcuffs on it, and “take it downtown” to God—and to another person. Your school or church should have counselors you can talk to for help with this serious problem. THE WORD: PSALM 139:14 (SEE ALSO 2 CORINTHIANS 10:5) “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

TEMPTATiON #8 MONEY MADNESS Your first year of college will include lots of financial freedom—even if you don’t have a lot of cash. You might open a bank account or get a credit card for the first time. It’s way too easy to forget your limitations and lose control. All it takes is ignoring the bottom line in your checkbook for a few days or hitting the limit on your card. STRATEGY: MAKE A MONEY PLAN Before leaving for college, sit down with a trusted adult and make a realistic budget. It’s also a great idea to decide before each year of school whether you’re going to get any credit cards and how much you’re willing to charge on them or if they’ll only be used in an emergency. Giving to God through a church is another important habit to start (or maintain). God cares about your money, too. THE WORD: MATTHEW 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth … But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven … For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

TEMPTATiON #9 MAKING COLLEGE IDOLS Many things at college can become idols—from intellectual pride and perfectionism to finding your identity in athletics and extra-curricular activities. It’s tempting to devote all your time to your studies or a sport, but the Lord desires your whole heart to be devoted to Him, even while you’re committed to other pursuits. STRATEGY: DAILY WORSHIP Stay consistent with an activity that has eternal value: your time alone with God. If you play the guitar, have a solo worship session, or turn on some music and sing your heart out. God loves to hear a joyful noise directed towards Him! THE WORD: EXODUS 20:3 “You shall have no other Gods before me.”

TEMPTATiON #10 CHEATING AND GIVING UP Let’s be honest: college is tough! The fear that you’re not going to make it might tempt you to cheat or quit (both bad options). Each leads to further misery and, ultimately, to failure. The Enemy wants you to believe that you can’t succeed or that you can scrape by with only minimal effort. STRATEGY: COMMIT EVERYTHING TO GOD AND DON’T COMMIT TO EVERYTHING If you have a problem with cheating or a fear of failure that tempts you to quit, find help! If you had issues like these in high school and you didn’t resolve them, they will only intensify in college. Ask God to help you rely on His strength and for the wisdom and self-control to turn down new opportunities when your plate is already full. THE WORD: PROVERBS 16:3 (SEE ALSO JAMES 4:7) “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”

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Some Great Thoughts on Sex, Dating, Partying

March 7th, 2006

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I’m a Christian in a small southern town, and there aren’t a lot of things to do around here. My youth minister says that I shouldn’t go to parties because he says it’s wrong, and I might hurt my witness. I don’t drink when I go, but is it wrong for me to go at all? Jesus hung out with the partiers — why can’t I? Long as I don’t drink, who’s it hurting? 

You are right, Jesus did hang out with party-goers, but He didn’t do it because it was cool or because He was bored. He did it because they were the lost and hurting who needed Him most. There may not be anything sinful about going to a party, but Christ commanded us to remain pure and to flee from anything that could tempt us. Romans 12 says to offer our bodies as living sacrifices and not to conform to the pattern of this world.

God also commands us not to do anything that could make someone else stumble. Romans 14 explains that we are not to do anything that could cause someone to doubt our commitment to Christ, even if we don’t see anything wrong with it. In 1 Corinthians 8:9 it says, “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.” Our world and our human nature says to do what we want, but the Bible says that we are to act in love toward others and to always consider their needs before ours.

Finally, the Bible also commands us to obey our parents, teachers, and those in authority. This may be the hardest but most important reason to take the instruction of your youth pastor. We encourage you to talk to your youth pastor. Explain why you disagree and let him explain why he thinks it is important that you stay away from the parties. Talk to your parents about it also and find out what they think. The people at those parties do need your love and friendship, and most importantly they need to know your Savior, but it may be that the best place to develop those friendships is far from their party scene. Try throwing your own nondrinking parties. Serve root beer, play music from Christian artists and plan activities to keep energy high. 

  

I met this guy a couple months ago who is exactly what I’ve been looking for! During church I try to concentrate on God, but it’s hard! That’s the only part about liking this guy that I don’t like. I’m letting him get in the way of my spiritual life. What should I do? 

Isn’t it wonderful to find someone you really like? It’s such a good feeling that it can take over your whole life if you’re not careful. The fact that you already think this guy is getting in the way of your relationship with God is a sign that you probably need to take a step back and check your emotions. God created us to love others, but He commanded us to love Him with all our heart, soul and mind. (Check out Matthew 22:37.) It’s also important to remember in the midst of your emotions, that no one can fulfill you except Jesus. Even the greatest guy in the world, even the one you end up marrying, can’t meet all your needs. Only God can do that and that is one reason it’s important to keep your eyes on Him and your heart committed to Him. That doesn’t mean that liking this guy is wrong, but letting him take priority in your thoughts, emotions, and life is.

So, what can you do when your focus starts to stray? Keep these practical things in mind. They seem pretty basic, but they can make all the difference. 1) Make the time you spend talking to God each day a higher priority than talking to this guy. 2) Don’t try to make things happen. Trust God. If something does develop between you, it will be even more important that God is at the center. 2) Be the kind of woman that a guy like this would want to be with someday, even if it isn’t him and it isn’t today. Building that character into your life is more important to God than any human relationship. 3) When you’re in church, choose a seat where you aren’t near him. It’ll be easier to focus on God if you aren’t staring at the back of this guy’s neck. 4) Journaling about your feelings will help you to get them out in a healthy way and bring you back to God as the One who is leading you and providing for your needs. 5) Get to know this guy as a friend. Sometimes we can become obsessed with the idea of someone even before we really know what they are like. If he turns out to be all you think he may be, then you’ll have one incredible friend! 

  

I like this guy, and I know he likes me. But he’s not a Christian. Is it okay if we go out? 

If you mean go out as in be boyfriend and girlfriend, no. If you mean go out as in go on a date, the answer is still probably not. We’ll explain.

The Bible doesn’t say, “Thou shalt not date non-Christians.” In Bible days, there was no such thing as dating. Most marriages were arranged, and at pretty young ages. But the Bible does give a principle that applies today in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” The yoked image relates to farm animals being closely connected in order to work together. It’s a type of relationship.

From that logic, the wise choice is not even going on a single date with a non-Christian if there are any hints of romantic involvement. What’s the danger? It’s even harder to pull back your heart and emotions once they’re moving forward. But I can lead him to Christ, you might be thinking. Many people have used that “missionary dating” justification. Unfortunately, that makes for a pretty one-sided relationship and puts all the pressure on you to live by God’s standards in areas like sexual purity.

Stick to friendship with non-Christians. You can do things with this guy in groups. You can even invite him to youth group activities and look for other opportunities to introduce him to Christ. But avoid the “going out.” It might be a tough choice, but it’s one God will honor. 

  

I’ve heard lots of people talking about restoring their virginity, or second-chance virginity. It seems like if you’ve had sex before marriage, there is no way to go back—that’s why it is such a big deal. Does the Bible say anything about this?

The Bible doesn’t use those terms speci, but it does talk a lot about forgiveness, which is at the heart of your question. You are right in one sense—once you’ve given yourself to someone sexually, there is nothing you can do to reverse that. The memory of it and the consequences can have a long-term impact. But, just like any other sin, God has promised to completely forgive that sin if we repent. True repentance is when you recognize that what you’ve done is wrong and turn away from your sin completely. When you do this, God promises to forgive you. First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” That purity is real and complete because of the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross. His blood is enough to cover any sin, including premarital sex. In Isaiah 1:18, the Bible uses the imagery of sins that are like scarlet being turned as white as snow. So, these people who are talking about second-chance virginity are right on. If they have truly confessed their sin to God, they are free from that sin, and the best thing they can do is to make a new commitment to staying sexually pure until marriage. The best thing you can do is to keep your own commitment to sexual purity strong and partner with some of these friends to keep each other accountable.

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